I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's shark week go big or go home
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
