Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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