Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
