I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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