what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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