I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
