Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
