well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Im part way to drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
