glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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