My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
