Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do vagina's smell?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
