Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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