I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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