I wish I only lived at night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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