All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
