I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
