Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
