The maid of honor just puked.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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