Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
