Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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