how can u be prego again
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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