So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
