i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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