fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
