The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
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