wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
