she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
