Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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