my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how can u be prego again
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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