i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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