Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
