South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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