South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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