I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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