so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
