I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
