I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
