she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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