i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
