she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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