i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
