her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
