I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
