I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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