singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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