Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
