so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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