Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
