North Korea, Best Korea!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
