Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
