No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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